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The Terrible Two’s
How many times have you heard the expression ‘Terrible Two’s’, when referring to the predicted onslaught of any child’s behaviour as they approach the age of two. As a parent and counsellor, I like to reframe the negative stereo-typing, that’s so easy to buy into.
A two-year old’s main aim in life is to assert independence and autonomy. However in doing so, this might include trying out ‘grown up’ tasks, much to the dismay of a tired, sleep-deprived, busy and grizzling parent.
With today’s pace of life in 5th gear, there’s often little chance to put the brakes on and take a look at what Master or Miss Two really needs in a given moment. Their normal enthusiasm to mimic an adult (or older child) task can be met with negative reactions. Confusion about ‘what did s/he do wrong?’ then sets in.
When it’s necessary to refuse a child an activity, an explanation of ‘it’s too hot’, ‘we’ve not got time today’ or ‘you’ve had 2 chocolates already today’ etc, is often more satisfactory to the ambitious little person, as opposed to a standard ‘no’. Children’s verbal skills lag considerably behind their language comprehension, so never be afraid to use explanations.
If you have an older child who’s diligently crafting something to perfection, offer your toddler an age appropriate version where possible.
If you have a precious day with some down time, try to include your child. Invite him/her to take part in whatever seemingly mindless, boring task you might be doing next. This ranges from washing dishes (child can do all the plastic stuff), putting garbage in the bin, handing pegs out for the washing regimes or perhaps something delightfully messy like baking. Children love to help, so if you’re cooking and worried about a hot stove, give your little one a bowl with dry pasta and a spoon! It’s noisy and they will get a sense of accomplishment from ‘helping’.
Involvement and inclusion are the name of the game. I promise you, the results will be rewarding – even if the task took twice as long.