MindMassage is just another way of looking at counselling. We often treat our bodies to some TLC, either for health reasons or just a treat. So why not care for your mind in the same way.

What is Counselling?

Counselling is like having a chat with someone. The difference is the focus is on your life, and the counsellor is trained to support you to address the issues that you struggle with.

Is counselling not just for people who are ‘crazy’?

Absolutely not. Many people have lives that are crammed with pressure and use counselling as a place to offload the stresses in their lives. Others use it as a place to talk where they feel free to say whatever they need to, without being judged or offending anyone.

What if I don’t know what to say?

Lots of people arrive at counselling wondering ‘what will I say’? Counsellors are trained, to put you at ease. Clients often walk away saying ‘I thought I wouldn’t say anything’ and are amazed that they felt so comfortable to talk freely. You will never be forced to talk about anything that you’re not ready to deal with.

What happens if I cry?

Crying is a perfectly normal and healthy way of relieving tension, pain, grief and stress, to name but a few things. Whether is a tear trickle or a howling session, we’re comfortable to support you to release what’s inside.

My problem is really embarrassing, what will the counsellor think?

A counsellor’s job is to support you, not to judge you or your actions. It’s important that a counsellor offers you the time and space to feel comfortable enough to share difficult issues. Remember what seems odd to you may be run of the mill for a counsellor – so come seek help today.

Rural

People in rural and bush communities often have very limited options when it comes to choosing a counsellor. With phone counselling, it doesn�t matter whether you are in Weipa, Broome, Coober Pedy, Katoomba or Devonport. Once you have a phone, you have easy access to quality counselling.

Sometimes clients from rural and bush communities prefer not to speak to someone in the area about particular sensitive and personal issues. This is another advantage of phone counselling.

Travelling Business People

Business people, now more than ever, are required to drive and fly throughout the country and often the world. This can often be disruptive to the normal life patterns. Having access to a regular counsellor � especially during challenging business trips � can be advantageous. We operate into the early evening, which is often morning time if in Europe, so there�s usually a suitable time to make an appointment.

Single Parents (or those with travelling partners)

This is another sector of society who may have more restricted time to leave the home, yet could spare an hour once the children are in bed, to devote to themselves.

Illness

This is often a time when peoples� emotions can be raw. Whether it�s a chronic illness or you are struggling post-surgery, emotional support during such a time can prove invaluable. To get this from the comfort of your own home, may reduce the strain of getting out and about.

People with Disabilities

Many people with disabilities are very mobile. However there are circumstances that sometimes can make travel more challenging. Having access to phone counselling, may ease the strain or expense involved in traveling to appointments.

** As with all counselling � not one size fits all. I assess every client during the first appointment. If I feel phone counselling is not appropriate I will speak openly with you about it and work with you, to see if we can locate someone more suitable.

Pregnancy is wonderful phase of life and as with all periods in life, brings about it’s own challenges. Many pregnancies are totally unplanned, mis-timed and just a plan ole surprise when it eventually happens for those who try.

Today’s world offers an abundance of information while pregnant. Unfortunately for some, this can add concern, knowing what might happen and induce unnecessary stress.

While many people sail through the prospect of what lies ahead, others struggle for all kinds of reasons

This may include

Thought of being responsible for another person for many years to come

Financial pressures/responsibility

Birthing options

Varied parenting ideas on how to raise the wee bundle when s/he arrives

Lack of partner support

Impact on relationship between couple

Impact on existing siblings/other family members

Birth Options

The fear and horror stories around a natural birth are plentiful and the positive stories are lacking. Many people advocate for a caesarean section as the easy option. Considering birthing is natural and a caesarean is major surgery, this mind-frame that can be thrown around, is concerning for many practitioners in this industry. Caesarean sections saves lives of mother and/or child, when medical complications/risks are present.

Our role is to support you to choose the option that makes most sense for you and alleviate any fears associated with that choice and build your belief in your abilities for a happy, healthy delivery.

Parenting Support

Parenting for many people feels like a natural progression in their life journey. For others it’s almost like landing on an alien planet where you don’t speak the language. No matter which end of the spectrum you find yourself at, we can support you through any challenges that come your way.

Contact me to see how you can be supported through your journey

Here at MindMassage, our philosophy is that our body is a barometer of our emotional well-being.  If your body isn’t right, chances are your emotions ain’t either.

Whether you’ve been diagnosed with an illness or disease, psychological condition (eg depression or anxiety) or just lack energy in which to enjoy life (and there’s no medical explanation), it could be time to consider the connection with your emotional well-being. Opening your heart and mind, can open the door to lots more than you ever dreamed possible.

This can be particularly true for those interested in improving fertility. How many times have you heard of someone falling pregnant, when they finally stopped ‘trying’? This is often the case even after IVF treatments. The power of the mind should never be underestimated.

And what about those people who ‘cure’ themselves of cancer and such challenging illnesses (eg Lance Armstrong & Allan Pease). While there is no doubt often major life changes and radical, often alternate procedures employed, these people always open up to emotional growth as part of their journey.

You can be supported and guided to the right kind of support that will help complement your counselling goals.  When clients engage in various methods of support – their recovery rate is much faster than just engaging in one form of therapy.

How can I help you today – contact me to find out more.

Challenges with relationships can haunt people right throughout their adult lives, if they don’t acknowledge and work through them.

These can become problematic with life partners, children (incl. adult children), colleagues or friends.

Some clients prefer to work alone, if their issues are very private and individual. Other times it seems more appropriate for a couple or a whole family to seek counselling together, to resolve the issues affecting their relationship.

It’s important to consider addressing relationship issues while it’s still feasible to work through them relatively painlessly. There’s always hope to redeem a relationship, but the road is a shorter more pleasant one, the earlier an issue is addressed.

If you’re unsure about whether your issue would be best dealt with alone or with others in the counselling room, contact us for more information.

Contact me to find out how I can support your relationship further.

Run through this quick checklist to see how you fare

When’s the last time you

Checked in with your partner to actually talk about your relationship

Apologised when you said or did something inappropriate

Forgave your partner

Forgave yourself (guilt is poison)

Told your partner what you appreciate about him/her

Did something meaningful for your partner – for no other reason that you want to

Maintenance in a relationship is absolutely vital. There are few if any relationships that can survive without conscious effort on a regular basis. There will be times when extra effort may be required to keep everything running smoothly.

As a counsellor, I regularly witness situations where one or both parties of a couple become complacent within a relationship. Often one of the parties is disgruntled by this complacency but says little or what they do say has little impact. Over time, lack of maintenance wears the disgruntled party down and makes them question whether or not they wish to remain in the relationship. When the less-motivated partner hears this, the panic button is hit and she/he is often willing to walk to the ends of the earth to make the relationship work.

My point? Why wait until a relationship is a crisis point before you work on it. While it may not be helpful or healthy to inform your partner of every annoying aspect, not talking about important aspects could prove detrimental.

So revisit the checklist above, put it somewhere that you’ll see it regularly. Put relationship maintenance in your diary, so you have no excuse that you keep forgetting.

Date nights – you can have these even if you’ve lived with someone forever

An unexpected gift at an unexpected time

Do your partner’s least favourite chore for a week

If you are parents of young children -

Arrange a child minder for a few hours, a day or a w/end

Send your partner off for an afternoon of ‘me time’

Reminisce about the ‘child-less’ times

It really doesn’t matter what you do, as long you both put effort into the relationship, in a way that allows the relationship to flourish!

Money an object -

‘kid-swap’ with friends for an afternoon or evening/night together – everyone will thank you when the favour is returned.

Eat dinner when the children are in bed – dress the table – spruce yourself up.

What will do today to give to your relationship?

If things seem too tricky or you just don’t know where to start – Contact me for an appointment to help you along the way.

Absolutely!! Good friends often help us through tricky patches in our lives. It’s common for people to have created behavioural habits, patterns that are so entrenched that we don’t notice that we do them. Sometimes friends can help, by pointing them out, but often it’s difficult to hear the truth about ourselves. Much of the time, it’s easy to become defensive or stubborn to hearing what’s being said.

What’s different about chatting with a counsellor/psychologist?

Being an outsider in your life, they have no emotional involvement in your everyday life. Many people find exploring their emotions a daunting prospect, often afraid of the unknown, and worry about what others think. A counsellor/psychologist is trained to support you at the pace you need and help you work through the natural defence responses.

Individuals can use counselling to explore their emotional, mental, spiritual well-being, in a non-judgement environment. Personal growth is often challenging and encouragement from a counsellor/psychologist can assist you through the tough spots.

So how can all this assist my health?

As with most things, there are no guarantees. By freeing up their minds/emotions, many clients find that there is an improvement in their general sense of well-being, which often extends to their physical side too.

Some people change overnight, some take years. But that’s for you to decide. A counsellor/psychologist can encourage you,  if change is what you desire.

Contact me  - make a change today.

Get colds just as we take a holiday?

Get a headache when we are stressed?

Suffer with tummy ache when nervous [butterflies]?

Have recurrent health problems?

Couples getting married are said to get cold feet before tying the knot, but have you ever wondered how that saying came about? Nowadays it’s common knowledge, that when we feel threatened or nervous, adrenalin makes our blood flow to our vital organs. Hence, we have less blood supply to the extremities (feet/hands).

Society today, operates at a much faster pace than years ago. Chances are most of us are missing the early clues of emotional distress/unease, as we busily getting on with our lives.

So how can you help yourself?

Start listening to your body

Track your symptoms and note what’s happening in your life

Get checked out to eliminate/treat medical issues (and note if they are recurrent)

What can I do if I notice bad health patterns/habits?

Adapt healthier living habits (drink plenty of water, eat nutritious food, get plenty of rest/sleep, reduce/eliminate caffeine and alcohol/drug intake)

Put time aside in your day (preferably) or week to relax/unwind – acknowledge the good aspects of your life and those you wish to change

Try some natural therapies

Enjoy the little things in life – walk in countryside/bushland or at the beach, call a friend

Treat yourself – take a break, get a regular massage

You’ve done all this and still not happy with your health?

Your emotional wellbeing is an integral part of staying healthy. Cold feet are one example of how our physical body shows our mind is going through stress or challenging times. Sometimes we need a little guidance to help us to understand what this means and how we can help our body cope.

This may mean taking time out to focus on our emotional wellbeing. Whether it’s a chat with a good friend or a professional counsellor, a little can go a long way.

Contact me today – see how I can help you keep your health in order.

How many parents have been haunted by these words? Their whole experience has been summed up by the end result (a healthy child) without acknowledgement of a traumatic journey and process.

Sinead Mitchell

BSSc

Counsellor

Experiencing trauma during the pregnancy or birth of your child, throws expectations into disarray and instead replaces them with challenging memories and an unfamiliar path that was never envisaged.

Pregnancy and Birth Trauma – what qualifies

It’s dangerous to oversimplify the meaning of trauma when it comes to bringing a child into the world. The aim of this article is assist women and their partners to overcome the aftermath of a challenging and traumatic pregnancy or birthing experience.

With any emotional status there is a continuum from mild to severe. From a professional perspective each and every level is significant and worthy of being addressed with appropriate support.

If low-level trauma is a person’s worst experience ever, then that is their benchmark. This trauma can feel as overwhelming for them as more serious trauma feels for another.

As most traumas are dealt with in medical settings it is often left to doctors and predominantly nurses to support the emotions of the parents. Occasionally parents are offered some support from social services. Generally it falls to the individual to realise they are not coping and to actively seek support.

It is worth noting that for some women/men, they take these unexpected changes without much impact psychologically, but for most the struggle is significant.

Definition of trauma

trauma – a deeply disturbing experience; emotional shock following a profound physical injury or stressful event

(http://www.harmoniacenter.com/glossary.php)

Wherever you look you will find varying descriptions and types of trauma, – the above sums up the emotional and psychological aspect very succinctly.

Pregnancy

Women and men often put a lot of thought and effort into planning to start or extend their family. There is a very clear and decided expectation of the joys that pregnancy will bring.

Despite much of it being expected, nausea and vomiting can literally halt some expectant mums in their tracks, some having to put life on hold for the early months. Occasionally some may struggle right throughout their pregnancy.

Significant medical conditions can require hospitalisation for some. Other conditions such as placenta previa (when the placenta is sitting over the cervix) mean there is no choice regarding birthing options  i.e. a caesarian section is required for the safety of mum and child. For women who may have planned a vaginal delivery or homebirth the required medical intervention detracts from their rites of passage to labour with their child. There are many varied and complex situations that require close monitoring and these pregnancies are now more like a medical condition than a natural process.

A key trauma of pregnancy is when the pregnancy is cut short severely and results in a premature delivery. There is the loss of that time with your baby in utero and blossoming in the latter months of gestation. On top of that is the very serious nature of having a child preterm.

Preterm delivery

Having a preterm (born before 37 weeks) baby adds another usually unexpected chapter to the process of bringing your child into the outside world. Occasionally some parents will know in advance that an early delivery may become necessary. That may heighten the trauma, knowing that your child’s life may be in serious danger. Sometimes babies are born that early that the parents haven’t yet informed their family and friends of the pregnancy, so there’s a mixture of joyous and tragic news delivered at the same time.

Depending on gestation at birth a myriad of scenarios can transpire for the baby and parents, including weeks or months in hospital before the baby can finally go home. What that means is mum and dad go home without a babe in arms, the car seat is empty and the nursery is full but missing the key ingredient – a child. And while a child may be alive and relatively well in hospital, it’s another unexpected hurdle in what most people anticipate will be a treasured and joyous time.

Bear in mind that many of these angels born so early are tiny enough to fit snugly in the parent’s hand. Wedding rings often fits on the baby’s upper arm. Quite unimaginable but often a memorable keepsake photo for those who’ve soldiered through that journey.

Emergency during term delivery

The most tangible traumas are the ones where emergency medical intervention is required. Emergency caesarian section, postpartum hemorrhage or newborn needing help to breathe are but a few. Even naming emergency caesarian can be triaged into needs to happen soon, as with many woman in labour, or the scenario where it’s all hands on deck, doctors and nurses literally running to theatre and stripping mum clothes off en route.

No time is available to process what is actually happening, let alone coming to terms with the nature of delivery.

Process of delivery

For a large amount of women their birthing experience falls short of their expectations. Depending on the degree of difference from those expectations, those disappointments can have serious consequences. While hearing an account of a particular birth may not sound traumatic, a woman’s experience can be vastly different. The degree of trauma can vary too. It’s important to acknowledge any part of the experience that felt traumatic.

Dr Sarah Buckley discusses the need for birthing women to have privacy, feel safe and have people around who are familiar to them. For the most part women today rarely have access to these fundamental requirements for an undisturbed birth. Unfortunately many women enter the labouring moments unaware of what’s missing and usually unable to obtain the desired outcome even if they are aware.

The medical nature of the birthing process often interrupts how nature intended birth to be. As Dr Buckley puts it so beautifully, how would other mammals cope with birthing under bright lights, in a foreign environment with strangers in tow. With lack of continuity of care in most labour settings, this immediately sets a woman at a disadvantage when it comes to have the best labour possible.

Due to a myriad of these factors, some women struggle with these consequences which may include having an assisted birth (e.g. vacuum) or a medical intervention such as a caesarian section. Some women who plan to have a home birth and end up in hospital struggle with the huge disappointment of not achieving the desired birthing experience.

When term babies need help

For most struggling babies some suction and support to start breathing alone is sufficient, however others end up in neonatal intensive care units (ICU). These stays can be short-lived while others require transition via special care units prior to discharge.

The loss of holding and feeding a baby immediately after birth is excruciating for many women and men. On top of this trauma, is the obvious concern for the baby’s well-being.

Symptoms & Syndromes

Responses to extreme trauma may include but is not limited to

- intense fear, helplessness, or horror

- re-experiencing of the traumatic event

- avoidance of stimuli associate with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness

- increased arousal

(DSM-IV, p424)

PTSD

In severe cases if all of the above symptoms are present along with other key criteria, a person may be suffering from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Immediate referral to a professional is required should any or all of the above be present.

PNDS

Postnatal Depressive Syndrome again houses a range of symptoms which might indicate someone is not coping with life. These may not transpire directly from a traumatic experience but often go hand in hand.

- Depressive symptoms can include

- moodiness that is out of character

- increased irritability and frustration

- finding it hard to take minor personal criticisms

- spending less time with friends and family

- loss of interest in food, sex, exercise or other pleasurable activities

- being awake throughout the night

- increased alcohol and drug use

- staying home from work

- increased physical health complaints like fatigue or pain

- being reckless or taking unnecessary risks (e.g. driving fast or dangerously)

- slowing down of thoughts and actions.

(http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=89.579)

Bonding with the newborn and wanting to engage may be very challenging too during depressive times.

Given that some things such as waking at night, being fatigued and spending less time with friends and family may occur naturally due to the demands of parenting, these symptoms often mask themselves well in the disruptive time of having a newborn in a household.

A simple rule to assess is, if things don’t feel okay then they probably need addressing.

An important factor to remember all these struggles and symptoms can occur for both the mother and the father and often simultaneously. The onset of all or any symptoms can be gradual and may not start for several years after your experience.

The Healing Process

Self-help stepping stones and options to support Mum and Dad

a) Accept things aren’t going ok for you and/or your partner and be kind to each other in the process

b) Talk to your partner/supportive friend or family member (be clear that you know yourbaby is healthy – that it’s you that needs help to recover)

c) Release your emotions – journal writing, crying, talking.

d) Seek support from a suitable health practitioner (naturopath, homeopath, osteopath, masseur, GP/MD – preferably a combination)

e) Seek out support groups and/or counselling as an individual or as a couple. (see resources below)

f) Tell your friends you’re struggling and don’t carry the burden alone.

g) Seek your medical records from your birth place if you need to find out more information and ask questions if you need them answered.

h) Once the healing process begins, allow a reasonable timeframe (months) to see a noticeable change [seek professional support if no change occurs].

i) If you know someone who fits this description – reach out and offer support.

A natural starting point for many people is their GP/MD. Some GPs/MDs have wonderful skills and use a range of resources. However many clients are offered anti-depressant medication at the initial consultation without other supports being offered or tried. These may be required, but for a variety of reasons (including breastfeeding and side effects) it may not be an option or a preference for many individuals. Be aware that there are a range of other options available to try if you are reluctant to use medication as a first option.

Self-help stepping stones and options for baby.

Babies who have experienced trauma often need time and support to heal.  Dr. Aletha Solter a Swiss/American psychologist has pioneered a new way of assisting babies to heal through allowing them to cry whilst be held.

Other emotional and physical support may come through homeopathy whilst cranial osteopathic therapy (osteopathy) can be vital for realigning a baby’s body after the tight journey into the world.  Chiropractic care can help release physical ailments as well as emotional trauma.

As the baby becomes more content and parents begin to heal too, it offers more opportunity for a harmonious and content household.

Summary

Birthing a child is a precious and unique experience each time around. In most cases mum and baby physically recover within a relatively short timeframe and to the outside world any perceived trauma is well disguised. The psychological and emotional toll can extend far and beyond the birthing process. Acknowledgement, openness and support can lead those struggling into a clearer, happy world to engage fully in their new role.

Resources

Books

Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering – The wisdom and science of gentle choices in pregnancy, birth and parenting, by Dr Sarah Buckley.

The Aware Baby, by Dr Aletha Solter

Websites

www.awareparenting.com – Author Dr Aletha J Solter – information on various resources.

www.birthtalk.org – Information and support – Brisbane (Australia) based support group

www.beyondblue.com.au  Information on depression

www.pipa.org.au – Information and support on preterm babies

www.sarahjbuckley.com  Information, articles and practical advice in pregnancy, labour and parenting.

References

American Psychiatric Association (1994) 4th Ed, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV). Washington, DC.

www.awareparenting.com – Dr Aletha Solter’s website

Buckley, S (2005) Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering, One Moon Press: Brisbane.

http://www.harmoniacenter.com/glossary.php

Author Blurb

Sinead Mitchell is a counsellor who specialises in supporting families to recover from pregnancy and birth trauma and adjust to parenting in a cohesive and harmonious way.  She’s also a mum.

There’s an increasing need for assisted fertility in our society. While some factors such as maternal age can be a contributory factor, many times the reasons why have remained a mystery.

Many couples trying to conceive are unaware that there are a host of alternate practitioners who can assist BOTH males and females to optimise their reproductive systems.

Fertility is a natural process – therapies such as naturopathy, herbal medicine, traditional Chinese medicine (TCM), acupuncture can support both the woman and man regulate abnormalities, including menstrual cycles and sperm count and quality.

And yet for some, this just isn’t enough.

Since opening my clinic doors, I have noticed some interesting trends amongst those in the child-bearing years. One such trend is a common thread of PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), strained relationships with the woman’s mother and often a fear of ‘becoming my mother’.

These fears are very potent and one needs to question how the body reacts to such fears and what it does to compensate.

‘PCOS is the most common hormonal reproductive problem in women of childbearing age -

An estimated five to 10 percent of women of childbearing age have PCOS.’

(Source – http://www.4woman.gov/faq/pcos.htm)

I offer a safe and nurturing environment for both partners to explore any emotional or mental barriers to fertility and conception.

Since the emotional has showed up in the body with physical symptoms, I will usually recommend addressing your health from many angles.

Contact me for more information on how I can support you.